anxiety as part of the design process

In April I went to the Design Leadership Summit. One of the speakers at the Summit was Stephen Covey Jr., author of The Speed of Trust. According to Mr. Covey,  as designers our relationships with our clients goes more smoothly when they trust us and our ability to create the home of their dreams.

 I thought this was an interesting premise, but my sinking question (that I was not confident enough to voice) was "What do you do if you are not sure that you can create your client's dream house"? To my amazement, one of the interior designers that I have admired for decades raised her hand and said "Every time I start a job, I am afraid that this will be the job when I will fail. How am I supposed to gain the trust of my client when I'm not sure I can do the job?"  Now, this is a woman who has written several design books, has her own furniture, lighting and fabric lines, and has been doing this for probably 40 years!  

All I could think was "Wow, I'm not the only one!". 

I share this story because this is the big dark secret of being an artist.  Anxiety and self doubt are often part of the process for many of us. I had to remind myself of this many times during my trip to Atlanta. Quite often I think we compare our inside design turmoil to the final beautiful designs of others. This certainly was true when I saw the "b inspired room" designed by Suzanne Kasler.

I saw this room and thought what would I do if I was given an empty space and told to do  anything? I must admit that the first feeling I often get in this situation  is anxiety. What should I do? What will look the best? The possibilities are limitless. What I am starting to realize is that this anxiety is just part of my design process. It's o.k. not to know exactly what I want to do at first. 

Sometimes all it takes is a piece of furniture to inspire a room. Suzanne Kasler's antique chaise is enough to set the tone for this room. The fabric  provides the blue and creme color scheme. The slim curved lines are repeated in many of the other pieces.  

A strong color scheme makes it easier to select fabrics and finishes.  Suzanne used an off white on the walls, the upholstery on her Nanette chair....

the un-glazed pottery...

the accents on her Percival Chandelier as well as her Choate Dining Table with

blue and gold accents. 

Once a couple decisions are made in a room , many of the other decisions fall into place. 

It seems like Suzanne's room was about her new furniture designs and the antique pieces that she used to inspire those designs. That idea set parameters for the room. 

 Suzanne's antique cane back dining chairs add warmth and depth to her room as well as showing her inspiration for her own Amsterdam side chair design. 

The vintage Belgian library cabinet held down the back of the room and was a fantastic back drop for a pair of Suzanne's Alexandra Side Chairs. 

I truly was inspired by Suzanne's room.

I don't know if Suzanne shares my anxiety during her design process, but it's nice knowing that other designers do.  What is your design process? If you have anxiety or fear during a design how do you deal with it? I'd love to hear from you.

xo

Brooke

Comments

[Maria Killam]

Brooke,
This sounds like something I would say :) I wish you loved closer to me, I'm sure we would be the greatest of friends!!

I felt like that a few weeks ago when I arrived at a very high end home a new client choose a new carpet for her living room. The big conversation was, do we have it sized to fit in the middle of the room in front of the furniture, or if not, how much bigger should it be, or should it fit all around the hardwood floor inset all around the room. (which would make it way more expensive, something she was trying to avoid).

I stood there thinking, "I should know right off the top of my head, how big this carpet should be and I should be able to tell her why and what to do". After I left (we needed bigger samples so we had to wait for them to come in) and I went into the carpet showroom, the rep said to me, 'tape off the room in the different sizes that you want to try' my clients do that all the time.

So the next time I met with her, that's what we did. She was satisfied that we were making the right decision because we taped it off 3 ways, and ended up going for the one that basically almost fit the entire room (the most expensive one).

Thank you for showing us your humanity. It just makes us love you more!!
xo
Maria

[Cristin]

I am having anxiety over a client's bedroom. I want her to LOVE it. It's comforting to know other designers have the same feeling!

Thanks again Brooke!

xo,
cristin

[mary]

Thanks so much for sharing the insecurity part of design. Whenever I buy an inventory item or start to design something, my insecurities pull me back... and then I can easily "get stuck"--thought that it was only me.

[La Maison Fou]

I think that everyone has so type of anxiety, because it is not your room. It is often easy to "change" our minds or go in a different direction when there are so many possibilites. You want to do the right thing the first time when it is a clients time, patience & their money. The pressure to not waste any of these things can be an enourmous burden. So, try try to be calm, patient and above all listen, that is the first thing i do. If you take the time to really listen, your client will tell you what they want, expect and like. The rest is just icing on the cake and of course it is an exquisite cake filled with layers of filling and mounds of intricate icing and topped with just the right design! Ha Ha!! Have a great weekend Brooke,
Leslie

[Joni Webb]

This happens every time I walk into a new job. I told you in an email that a few years ago I started to do something that makes me much less anxious - I tell myself - i just moved here, now what would I do to this room myself? it takes the fear away if you are designing for yourself! of course the trick is to get the client to want to do what you would do!

[Alicia]

Insecurity goes with everyone who creates on whatever level it is. I think thats what drives us to work hard, to become better at what we do. Theres no laziness in an artist, a funk yes but laziness, naw!!!
Whether its in my writing or my staging, I always have a huge knot as they read the page or walk in a room just as when in retail I'd suggest a way to go with a purchase. Once the conomy gets back & I open my shop I'll be tossing & turning in the bed & my head, whether anyone will show up, but that fear drives me.
You may have anxiety but your fabulous work is the result, Brooke!!! Embrace the fear!!!

[Annie]

I think the anxiety you are speaking of is needed. I wish the lady I hired had your anxiety, my lady didn't care less (and that was after taking my money!). I think you are obviously a dedicated and genuine designer who cares. I wish you were over here in aus! lol

[Susan Bartlett]

Brooke,
How did you get those photos?1? I was at the Market too, and I was dying to snap some shots but the hostess there told me I was definitely not allowed to....I also sat in on the seminars that Suzanne Kasler was a part of....it was so inspiring. She told us that the inspiration for the room came from the antique bookcase...she had purchased it for her home but it was too large. So she was so happy to use it as the focal point for her room.
I also am so happy to here that even the top designers are not sure sometimes where to start with the inspiration for a room. Many times my clients say..I think that , for example, chair, would be good enough for the room....and I tend to say...I think we can do better! I get myself into a lot of "extra" work by doing this, but the end results are always worht it. Thanks for your great posts! Sue

[Things That Inspire]

I loved reading this post, and I also loved seeing this room through your eyes (I posted a picture of this room in my post from yesterday) - there are details that I had not even noticed until you pointed them out.

When I read your breakdown of the room, it reminded me of the Design Star type shows where the contestants have to create a room in 24 hours. I love watching these kind of shows because it is so interesting to see how different designers face the challenge. One designer who ended up winning the show a few years ago always started with the rug, and that was the inspiration for the rest of the room. I remember one challenge where he had to 'furnish' the room entirely from a pet store (yes, that was silly, but interesting to see how it made the contestants be supercreative). The designer used cedar shavings as his carpet - the stuff you put in a hamster cage - and it was so beautiful and textural.

Anyway, loved this post!

[Willow Decor]

Brooke,
Thank you for sharing this part of you! I have often said to myself since discovering your great talent - "now what would Brooke do!" :)

I seem to have the most anxiety designing for my own house. Perhaps I want it so very perfect - (what if it's not?!) Often I can't make a decision for myself - there just too many choices (did I miss the right one?). For others it is a bit easier for me because I feel like I am a guide and we are coming to an agreement that works for both of us, so if it isn't exactly what I prefer I let it go because they need to love it and live with it.

My most stressful design moment was when they finally took down the plastic sheeting in my kitchen and butler's pantry. It was the first time I got to see it in its entirety. I was overwhelmed and teary eyed. I called my best friend and said "OMG! It really came out so pretty! I am SO surprised and SO relieved!" And, as only a best firend can respond - "Gina, my God of COURSE it came it good - Now RELAX - you really should look into Prozac!!"

BTW, I love the Kasler room - as you know I am huge fan of hers. I especially love the rug - any idea if it is an antique or a new item from her rug line from Safavieh?
xx-Gina

[Laura Casey Interiors]

Usually something- a piece of furniture or a color guides me at the start of the process. How interesting to hear Stephen Covey speak. I have read a few of his books which are great. So glad you had a good trip to market!

[Lauren Liess]

I always have this crazy guilt/ anxiety with budget & billing. I end up feeling guilty for charging people because we develop a relationship... I'm getting better at not feeling bad (having kids and a mortgage helps! haha) but it's always a struggle for me.

Also, because I'm pretty tight with my own decorating (flea markets, thrift stores, discounts, etc.) when I present budgets, sometimes I think, "there's no way they're going to go for this" because I wouldn't/ couldn't myself! And you know how tough it is to do the thrift store/ flea thing for clients... i'm able to do it with smaller things/ accessories but when they want a plan asap it just doesn't work.

Recently I got a new client who has asked me to do "gaudy" and "over-the-top" in a small condo bedroom. oh boy. :( It's not something I ever do, would want to do or am comfortable doing. I had a LOT of anxiety with this one... I showed her some custom bedding designs & it was still too simple for her so I ended up going with "bed in a bag" type things!! She loves it and I couldn't not have been more nervous about the design.

xoxo,
lauren

[Joni Mendez]

Hi Brooke,
I am glad you had a safe trip to and back from Atlanta. I think that all true artists have an extra sense. They know that a change in the placement of light, a different tone of the same color, a glazed versus unglazed pot can absolutely change the feel of a room and therefore the details loom before you. I am amazed at the talent and the sweet realness that you exhibit. I do not believe designers get the respect that other artists do. Thank you for sharing your ideas, your work, your thoughts.I feel it is an honor to peek into your world and see the thought process that so many of you take to develop a thing of beauty. Thank you.
joni

[Michelle @ Sweet Something]

I have a proclivity for design, but because of this 'anxiety' I feel more comfortable as a visual merchandiser...I have had a few clients in the past that have sought me out based on what they see...but not because I've put myself out there...it is nearly crippling...which leads me to stay behind the scences. Basically, I'm a wimp :)

[Brooke Giannetti]

Thank you everyone for sharing your anxiety experiences with me. It's nice to know that I'm not sitting alone with my anxiety!
Joni,
Thank you for the advice. I enjoyed listening to you, Linda and Megan discuss your design process on the Skirted Round Table this week.
I think everyone would find it interesting.
Here's the link:
http://skirtedroundtable.blogspot.com/2009/07/interior-design-inspirations-and-blog.html

xo
Brooke

[Brooke Giannetti]

Hi Susan.

I'm not sure why no one told us not to take pictures!
We were pretty open about it and would definitely not have taken them if we had know.
Thank you for sharing Suzanne's insights with me. That cabinet
did make a fantastic focal point to the room. It's also nice to know that
Suzanne makes mistakes too!

Happy Weekend.

xo
Brooke

[Brooke Giannetti]

Hi Things That Inspire,

It really was a beautiful room.
I loved how she combined her own furniture designs with the antiques.
I'm off to check out your new post. It's been a crazy couple of days!

Your story about the pet shop room is hysterical. That is true talent!

xo
Brooke

[Brooke Giannetti]

Hi Gina (Willow Decor)

I remember the first time seeing your kitchen and pantry.
It is still one of my favorite designs ever.
The transformation was incredible.
I can't tell you how reassuring it is to know that someone as talented as
you shares in my craziness! Your best friend was right.
Your work is beautiful.

xo
Brooke

[Brooke Giannetti]

Hi Laura.

I think having a piece of furniture, a special fabric, or a rug
is a great way to start a project. It definitely lessens the anxiety.

It was quite a treat to hear Stephen Covey speak.
I learned a lot from his talk. It was so insightful yet really obvious!

xo
Brooke

[megan]

Thanks so much for sharing this! It is very timely for me as we are building our own home right now and I was having these exact feelings yesterday as my husband and I fretted over whether or not our stucco color choice was right...we were both having anxiety to the 9th degree! I am not a designer but am artisticly inclined but all I kept thinking was if I only had a designer I wouldn't have to feel this way!

[Brooke Giannetti]

Hi Lauren.

It's difficult to charge clients when they become friends.
You have to remember what a wonderful service you are providing them, whether
they are your friends or not. You are making a dream come true for them, and they
really couldn't do it without you.

Your "over-the-top" condo project must have been quite a challenge for
you! Your own home is so calm and beautiful.
Those jobs that go against my own design preferences are always the most
difficult.
Thank you for sharing your experience.

xo
Brooke

[Brooke Giannetti]

Hi Michelle.

You are not a wimp! Design merchandising is
not an easy thing to do.
I must say that there are times when I have wanted to run out of the room when starting a projecting.
But I have learned that this is just a feeling to get through. Eventually it passes and is
replaced by the excitement of seeing my client's dream become a reality.

xo
Brooke

[Janine Marshall]

Hi Brooke,
Hope it's not too late to leave a comment. I've read all the comments and they are all from designers! I'm not a designer but one day I dream of becoming one. I guess what I want to say is that even though I'm not a designer I still have those self doubts and inner conflicts and wonder how I would go about designing an empty room and wonder if I posted some of what I do in my house would anyone else like it or am I delusional??? Would I have what it takes to be a great designer???? Time will tell, when the time is right!!!!! Always enjoy your blog and what you do, so thanks.

Take Care

Janine
XXOO
Tasmania, Australia

[pk @ room remix]

What a great post and excellent comments! Nice to know that a designer of beautiful rooms like yourself also has that anxiety. I think that's what makes a good designer though. When we stop having anxiety I think that means we think we know it all. Some of my anxiety is caused by striking the balance of what I feel would be good and what the client wants and can afford.

You would also think a blank room would be the easiest but sometimes it's the hardest for me because there are so many different directions I could go! To just settle on one? Excrutiating! :-)

[Angela in WA]

Okay, I loved reading that Suzanne Kasler bought that piece and it was too large for her own home. Whew, even Suzanne Kasler herself makes scale mistakes! Oh the humanity! Good to know I'm with the big leagues. Ha!

[Terri]

Brooke, so nice to see your honest thoughts on this subject. I think that self-doubt is just part of the human condition, no matter how much career success you have, or appear to have. I have been an engineer for 14 years and have managed to handle all the projects they have given me over the years, but i am constantly plagued by doubt. What if I can't do this? What if I don't deliver? What if I can't do these calculations? Who can I rely on for help? How can I pull this off? How can I lead a project if I don't understand all the technical details?

But yet, I manage to succeed every time. And you do too! Because you just start somewhere and fumble around for a little bit and little by little it starts to grow. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that it starts with one thing, one great piece, when it comes to decor. Maybe some designers have a huge vision, but I know for me, it always seems to start to feel right when I find one thing that sums up who I am or a look I want. Once I start to feel SAFE with that one idea, I know I can build from it. But I still don't know how you designers pull it all together and make it all so coherent. Since I am not in the trade (and not working with a designer), I am so limited in what I can get my hands on. I have wanted an ivory rug forever for my dining room and cannot find one anywhere in my budget. Even getting one made was over budget. I finally found a sale rug at Pottery Barn, but it is only 90% perfect and slightly changes the look I was after. So I can't make things as coherent as I want - I have to be more flexible, run with what I can find. You guys do have so much more choice, which must be both liberating and exhausting. Where DO you start?!? But I think it really comes down to that one SAFE thing or one or two beautiful pieces or objects that declare "this is what this room is all about". Even a fabric.

Doubt is normal - it means you are not an ego-maniac!! :)

P.S. I would LOVE to see an empty room transformed by you. I KNOW it would be gorgeous, even if it made you not sleep for weeks.

By the way, I would really like to have your thoughts (perhaps in a future post) on having a signature style. Some designers seem to have a formula (like Kasler, to some extent) and others seem to go with the flow a little more (client-oriented). I know people like Kasler get hired because they have a look. Just wondering what your thoughts are on hving a look, developing your look, or whether you try to roll with the client (like that red, white and blue room you did, that didn't remind me of your own home at all!)

sorry so long...no need to write back...xo Terri

[MaryBeth]

With you talent I am sure you would never fail. Also, I would kill for that chaise. MB

[Maureen]

Brooke...I'm so impressed. Your blog just gets better and better. You freely share your beautiful projects, your family, your trips, your insights, and your preferences with us. Now, to share your anxiety and self-doubt makes you such a real person that anyone can relate to and respect and admire. Your blog is wonderful and conveys the soul of a true artist in every word and picture. Thank you so much! Maureen

[melissa lee]

Dear Brooke,

I believe it is you willingness to go into those areas of self-doubt that give you your true power in your work along with all the other areas of your life. You have great insight into your inter world and that translates well. I think when you can present this to clients when it happens in a real way it helps softens things and the flow happens.

xxxoo
Melissa lee

[Millie]

Even though my work is very different to yours Brooke, I still get that 'flutter' as I walk across the threshold to present to a client. And even after 20 years, I never want that feeling to leave. I'm sure it makes us more professional & focussed & less prone to make mistakes. Maybe rather than 'anxiety' its really a 'fabulous flutter' you're feeling. Loved Joni's advice.
Millie ^_^

[Renae Moore]

Dear Brooke,

YES, I get scared and feel insecure that I will "goof" (which I just did...posted today) and it will be terrible. It's hard too working around things clients already own and trying to make some things look lovely that aren't. How about not being able to really decorate the way you would like because of a budget that won't allow enough accessories?

BTW...I was at the Mart Friday before I left and I wasn't allowed to take pictures either. Thank goodness you and Things That Inspire were able to get some. The camera "police" were in force. I loved Suzanne's wall of antlers...my hubby would love that too! We have a "trophy" room in our home...the "man cave"!! ha.

Have a great weekend and thanks for sharing that you go through what we all do.

xo

[Teresa]

You are human =) silliness aside- thanks for sharing with us- I will remember your words the next time I'm feeling the same way about something I want to create around my own home...at least I will know I in good company. =)
Have a nice weekend.

[Carol Edwards]

Brooke, Right now I could hug your neck for allowing yourself to be so transparent and admit that often you lack confidence. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I'm going to embrace it from now on and let it be my driving force. I always feel it's such an honor to be asked to make a house a home. I have found the best way to please a client is to LISTEN early on in the relationship. Loved Joni's advice too. Thanks for having the energy to write your blog. It's been a wealth of inspiration and also validation for me.

Carol

[Tanya]

I did public speaking several times a week in front of total strangers for over 9 years. I received compliments many times about how much they liked my presentation and how good I was at it. The funny part is that there were many times that I had a similar anxiety as yours. What if I say something foolish? What if no one cares what I'm talking about? I agree with you that it is often part of the process. I think we're issuing ourselves a challenge to put forth our very best effort and to be as creative as possible. That would certainly explain why we're (at least I was) exhilarated but also exhausted at the completion of the process. Just my two cents!

[Brillante]

Does it mean something when the comments are longer than the post? Yes it does...you have created a discussion and lots of interest. I also loved to know that everyone is human, even magic Brooke!

[ROOM design studio]

thanks alot for sharing your experience with us.. I dont think a design works if there wasnt anixity associated with it.. this is what makes the world of design different from the world of normal boring lives.. the anixity is what helps us keep trying other methods and discovering solutions.. never final solutions , always a work in process

[Pamela]

Oh yes. How well I know this feeling. You have described it perfectly, and it is a certain comfort to realize other designers are afflicted like myself! I have come to expect it at the start of every new project, so it doesn't scare the pants off me the way it used to. In fact, I try to see it as an adventure of sorts....what will be the jumping off point for this project?? Will it be, as it usually is for me, a perfect fabric...one I've not used before, or one I've always wanted to use? Will it be something the client says? Something he or she is reading, or wearing? Will it be the way the light falls on the floor in an empty room. It is always something, and I used to fret over my ignorance as to what??, but now I just drink everything in that I can and try to be patient. It will happen. It always has. I always pray for the muse to join me before I pull into a new client's driveway, and she usually does. Thank God. Of course, cut to the finished project, when the clients are thrilled and I am depleted but oh, so satisfied....that is precisely when I think..."I am a fraud and I'll never work again!"

Sigh.

[Susan]

...but my sinking question (that I was not confident enough to voice) was "What do you do if you are not sure that you can create your client's dream house"?

From your statement above, I can confidently say, you can put that fear to rest! I've not seen one ugly thing from you. Period.

Even if you find inspiration lacking at times, do not the clients inspire or invoke a directional path to proceed? I ask this out of curiosity, not from certainty.

In admiration,
Susan

[Patrice]

It feels good to read post like yours. Very interesting. I am not an interior designer but I love reading it.

[Buy Viagra]

Okay, I loved reading that Suzanne Kasler bought that piece and it was too large for her own home. Whew, even Suzanne Kasler herself makes scale mistakes! Oh the humanity! Good to know I'm with the big leagues......

I totally agree with this comment, thanks for sharing, have a nice day!!